


Someone's Someone

by KebinMoon



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anorexia, Bullying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Geonhak bullied, Geonhak needs all the hugs pls, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Overworking, Rejection, Xion loves his Leedo Beano, Xion whipped, mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KebinMoon/pseuds/KebinMoon
Summary: Geonhak was bullied before being accepted by the members of Oneus, but he needs to learn to trust them and get over his past, they help him overcome it, but one of them catches feelings.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion
Comments: 3
Kudos: 59





	Someone's Someone

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I was listening to Monsta X's english album and someone's someone gave me an idea, didn't turn out how I thought it would but I like it because is cute and also I love the Geonhak/Dongju pairing :)

Geonhak had struggled for a long time, he dreamed his whole life of becoming an idol. Alas, everytime he tried something went wrong and he felt himself recede into a ball, on the verge of giving up. Until, finally, he found an entertainment company willing to take him on, and Youngjo had instantly begged him to join the group he was forming, after it was okayed by their boss. He had been accepted, and suddenly his life was changing, he was moving into a dorm with five other guys. Youngjo had sensed he was a little hesitant about everyone else and had asked Hwanwoong to move into the other new trainee, Dongju’s room so Geonhak could room with him. Geonhak was grateful that Hwanwoong was willing to comply and change rooms. The boy didn’t mean to show his wariness around the other guys, his members, but he couldn’t help it. Remembering the mocking that others gave him over the years, it would always come to him in dreams. Every single night would be wracked with those dreams and tonight seemed no different.

_ “Hey Geonhak, how can you stand it?” Junyoung, a fellow trainee, asked suddenly. _

_ “Stand what?” he asked shyly. _

_ “Being the ugliest in the room?” he cackled at the younger, Geonhak felt his face warm in embarrassment as the other guys laughed along at the joke. _

_ “Okay, you got your laughs,” Geonhak tried to brush it off. _

_ “Oh. You thought I was joking? How cute,” Junyoung smugly laughed, Geonhak stood and left the room quickly not wanting them to see how much it hurt. _

It always went that way, every group that whatever company tried to put him in, they would make fun of him endlessly. He wasn’t talented enough, he was too ugly. He could never make it. It led him to curl up into a ball late at night in his bed, or the bathtub in the bathroom with the door locked. Only then would he let his tears fall, he hadn’t even debuted yet and he was already facing some of the worst parts of idol life, he was getting hate from people, but they weren’t anonymous. They were in his face everyday, and he was too weak to fight back, he just wanted friends, he wanted people who would welcome him and it never happened. He would shake with his sobs, just wishing that someone, anyone would appreciate him. Would be willing to love and support him, just one person that’s all he wanted.

He shook awake rapidly, Youngjo and Seoho looming over him. He was covered in sweat and needed the blankets off, they seemed to be restricting his breathing. Geonhak felt himself crash to the floor but with no pain as he felt his lungs gasp and his heart race. Someone in the room was yelling his name but he couldn’t tell, it wasn’t until he felt a warm hand in his that he grabbed back onto reality.

“Geonhak! Geonhak! You’re okay, I’ve got you I promise,” Youngjo was saying to him directly into his ear.

“Y-Y-jo,” Geonhak attempted feeling his throat close up trying to force out words.

“Hey, I’m right here, we all are,” Youngjo tells him, gripping him tightly, one glance around the room and he can see the rest of his members, and even the other guys of the band in the room; all concerned.

“I’m fine dude,” Geonhak clears his throat and forces himself to believe it too, “I don’t need your help, I’m not some cry baby”.

“Hak, I’m not accusing you of being a cry baby, I’m telling you that you just had a bad panic attack and I’m worried,” Youngjo looks at him, he can see the honesty in them.

“Well I don’t need anyone’s concern, I’m gonna go shower and go back to bed,” Geonhak responds standing up and walking to the bathroom.

“What are we supposed to do?” Hwanwoong chimes in across the room.

“I don’t know babe, but we need to help him,” Youngjo answers.

“How bad did others treat him?” Yonghoon asks.

“I’m not exactly sure but let’s just say it took a miracle and a half to get him to agree to even audition for RBW, let alone accept,” Youngjo answers.

“Well, we need to help him, but right now we all need to sleep, we’ve got a long day,” Seoho pipes up.

“Don’t remind me,” Keonhee grumbles.

“Just get your ass back to bed Keonhee,” Seoho retorts, grabbing him off the floor and dragging him out after everyone else leaves.

Youngjo crawls into bed, trying to come up with ways to make Geonhak feel better. The leader doesn’t hesitate to put his arms around the younger, still shaking with fear, when he climbs wordlessly into his bed. He doesn’t say a word as Geonhak drifts off to sleep in his grip.

This continues on for a while after he joins the group, waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes Youngjo is there next to him. Other times he would wake up soundlessly, tears streaming but not a peep coming out of him; the minute he felt his lungs strain with the force of holding back his cries he would tiptoe his way to the bathroom so he wouldn’t bother Youngjo. Sometimes he found Dongju sitting in their room with Hwanwoong wrapping his arms around the youngest, the two watching Youngjo comfort him. Geonhak always noticed the helpless look in Dongju’s eyes, as if he wanted to help, but that was ludicrous, he probably hated Geonhak. Probably wanted him gone, just like everyone else.

“Geonhak, we need to talk,” Youngjo says one evening before bed.

“What about?” Geonhak acts clueless but he knows.

“You know what it’s about, sit down please,” his heart clenches, it’s time for him to pack up and go.

“We don’t need to talk, I knew this wouldn’t work, I’ll pack,” Geonhak sighs to himself, walking over to his dresser.

“What no, Hak, come here, let me talk,” Youngjo stops him and walks him back to his bed, they sit together. “I’m worried about you, your nightmares specifically. We’re all really worried about you, but I know that you’re most comfortable around me so I knew I’d be best to talk to you. Is there anything you need to help with them? How can we help you?” Youngjo asks, nearly pleading.

“I don’t know. I’ve had them for a while, it’s just hard, you don’t know what I went through. All those people were awful to me, and I just- it’s hard to forget,” Geonhak admits, leaning his head onto Youngjo’s shoulder.

“I know, but we’re here for you now, you can rely on all of us I promise. If anyone dares to say anything bad, they will have to answer to me, I care about you Hak,” Youngjo wraps his arms around the younger, holding him tight as Geonhak cries silently.

“Thank you Youngjo, you’re the best,” Geonhak shyly says, doing his best not to stutter through his cries.

“Of course, I will always support you,” Youngjo promises the younger.

“Can you hold me until I sleep, p-please,” Geonhak shyly asks looking up at the older with eyes full of tears and hurt.

“Yes of course,” he lays down and gestures towards Geonhak, “come lay with me Hakkie, you’ll be okay”.

As the younger lays his head on top of Youngjo’s chest he feels himself fill with warmth, being wrapped in the other’s arms feels so good. He smiles to himself, his heart beats quickly with giddiness as his eyes fall shut softly, exhausted. Youngjo glances down at the other and smiles at him, laying a kiss on his hair, he needs to protect his friend. He hears the door click open and looks over to see Hwanwoong stepping quietly into the dimly lit room.

“Hi baby,” Youngjo whispers, feeling Geonhak’s breathing settle into sleep.

“How was it?” Woong asks, trying not to make too much noise.

“It was alright. I know I promised you a movie date, but I might be stuck here,” Youngjo tells him, feeling guilty but also aware of how tight Geonhak is holding him.

“That’s okay. He needs you, after all he trusts you,” Hwanwoong answers, waving his hand in dismissal.

“Thanks. Goodnight baby, I love you,” Youngjo blows him a kiss, that the younger returns.

“I love you too babe, goodnight,” Hwanwoong exits the room as quietly as he came in. With everything settled, Youngjo allows his eyes to fall closed and drifts off to sleep as well.

The next week goes similarly, Geonhak leaning closely on Youngjo but with the older’s encouragement he’s also being more social with the other members. He keeps his promise to talk about things and Youngjo has become his listening ear. As Geonhak grows impossibly closer with Youngjo he finds himself feeling fuzzy and warm around the older, his cheeks blushing whenever he receives compliments from the older.

Geonhak is taken from the practice room to go to the studio to record some new songs. The minute he’s gone everyone in the room turns to stare at Youngjo who is stretching off to the side.

“What?” he asks when he notices the looks on everyone’s face.

“He’s whipped for you,” Keonhee says bluntly.

“What do you mean?” Youngjo is still confused as he moves to stand upright.

“Geonhak, he is like a puppy staring at you with awe and love,” Seoho seconds.

“I don’t think so,” Youngjo laughs ignoring them.

“Babe, they’re right, he has a massive crush on you. It’s kinda hard for me to watch, you should just tell him you’re with me,” Hwanwoong states.

“Baby, you know I would never cheat on or leave you, and so what if Geonhak is softer towards me? I’m his friend and he trusts me, which means a lot,” Youngjo tries to explain their theory away.

“Okay, fine. Ignore us, you’ll see,” Seoho adds, with that the topic is dropped but now that it’s been put in his brain the idea nags at Youngjo.

The younger blonde haired boy returns a short while later for the rest of their dance practice and Youngjo pays close attention to him. When they take breaks his eyes follow every single gesture Geonhak makes when they talk one on one. Sure, he leans in a little close and smiles wide, but that can’t mean anything, Youngjo tries to convince himself. After a long day they finally retreat back to the dorms and Geonhak eats dinner with the rest of them for a change but still opts to sit next to Youngjo. He even goes as far as to ask Hwanwoong if he can move so he can sit next to the oldest, the younger begrudgingly stands and moves to another seat. Youngjo wants to demand that Hwanwoong stay next to him as he’s barely gotten time with his boyfriend in the last week, but the request stays on his tongue, not wanting to hurt Geonhak’s feelings. Dinner is fine until Geonhak places his hand on Youngjo’s thigh, which is normal if they’re filming or all sitting squished on a couch. But this is different, this is intimate and close, no one else can see the hand and it’s radiating too much warmth and Youngjo finds himself beginning to sweat.

Youngjo finds himself scarfing down his food so he can move away from the burning touch. As soon as the last bite is in his mouth, before he even finishes chewing he stands abruptly ripping Geonhak’s hand off of his thigh. He walks with his head down and sets his plate in the sink making his way out of the kitchen and into the living room, trying to shake the guilty feeling off.

“What was that about?” Seoho ponders.

“Who knows,” Keonhee says around his mouth full, completely unbothered.

“I’ll check on him,” Hwanwoong states, clearing his plate as well and joining Youngjo in the next room.

“Hey, what was that?” he asks softly sitting next to his boyfriend.

“It was nothing,” Youngjo tries to brush it off, but the look on his face says more.

“I know it wasn’t nothing, please tell me baby,” Hwanwoong flashes the older a pout to get his way.

“Fine, you guys were right, happy?” Youngjo simply says, clearly disgruntled.

“What is that supposed to mean Jo?” Woong presses wanting a clear answer.

“Geonhak,” he whispers, “he put his hand on my thigh, and not in a friendly way. No, it did not go into dangerous territory but it felt wrong, and Woongie... I’m sorry,” Youngjo nearly cries.

“Hey baby, it’s okay, he doesn’t know about us. It’s time you tell him though, can you do that?” Hwanwoong reassures his love.

“You’re right, I have to. I’m still sorry baby,” Youngjo apologizes again.

“All is forgiven,” he leans over and places a small peck on the older’s pretty lips, “now go and talk with him”.

Geonhak walks out of the kitchen with Seoho a few minutes later, they seem to be chatting lightly, the last two follow out after them and it’s time to start their movie night. Keonhee starts shouting about what movie he wants and Hwanwoong is quick to argue, meanwhile Geonhak gestures to Youngjo.

“Did you need something?” Youngjo asks after moving closer to the other.

“Uhm, can we talk, in our room?” Geonhak asks, seeming nervous, Youngjo glances around nervously himself before nodding. They stand and walk towards the room they share. “So uhm, well. Let’s sit, I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a little bit now, but haven’t had the courage but I think now is a good time,” Geonhak starts off.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Youngjo tries to appear calm.

“Well, we’ve obviously become a lot closer since I joined and I just,” Geonhak lets out a nervous breath, “like a bandaid Geonhak,” he whispers to himself. “I like you a lot,” he says, watching the older’s reaction.

“Oh, Geonhak,” Youngjo sighs, wishing that he didn’t have to do this. “I’m not available...” he says quietly.

“Who? What? Youngjo if you don’t like guys you can just say so. Unless... it’s just me?” Geonhak replies sadly.

“No. Hak, it’s not that I don’t like you, but only as a friend. I’m- Hwanwoong is my boyfriend,” he admits shyly.

“Ah, I see. Jo, that’s okay, I’ll be fine. I guess I owe Woong an apology, for hitting on you or whatever. We can still cuddle if I need to though right?” he asks hopefully.

“Of course. I’m still your friend, if you need me, I’m here,” Youngjo brings Geonhak into a big hug.

“Thank you, for being honest with me, you’re a great friend,” Geonhak tells him.

“Thank you Hak, you’re amazing, and someday you’ll see that. Also someday you will find someone who loves you the way you deserve,” Youngjo insists.

“Yeah, now let’s go join movie night,” Geonhak stands up from the bed he was on and leaves to go join the others, Youngjo following him.

Geonhak plops down on the ground in front of where Dongju is sitting, and Youngjo weasels himself next to Hwanwoong, picking the smaller boy up onto his lap. Woong looks back at him with shock written on his face, but the smile Youngjo gives him answers the unspoken question. He cuddles in closer and places a kiss on his boyfriend’s mouth. Before focusing back on the movie Hwanwoong glances over at Geonhak, who happens to be looking at him as well, he sees the older mouth an ‘I’m sorry’ and he responds that it’s okay. Geonhak drifts off during the movie, Dongju above him stroking at his hair absent mindedly. For the first time in months he doesn’t have a nightmare, and when he’s herded into his bed he slips easily back into peaceful rest; feeling an imaginary hand petting his hair softly.

Over the next few days Geonhak adjusts to the relationship between Youngjo and Hwanwoong. He can’t help feeling a little hurt but he knows that neither did it intentionally and from what he’s been told they got together a couple months before he even arrived. So he moves on from the slight blow to his heart. Geonhak consoles himself with the knowledge that he hadn’t waited and developed more serious feelings for the older. And when they spend time together, he sticks more with Seoho, Keonhee and Dongju. He and Seoho become fast friends, finding more and more things they have in common. Over the course of a few weeks, Geonhak found himself opening up with all the members; he and Hwanwoong have even built a close friendship. But he will always consider himself closest with Youngjo.

Dongju was another that he has become close with, the youngest member clinging to him tightly as soon as Geonhak opens up to him more. He’s told by Youngjo that Dongju misses his twin brother, and he finds comfort in Geonhak, which he finds hard to believe, but accepts. Although Geonhak sometimes pretends to hate the clinginess, he loves it, he loves cuddling with all the members. All of them come to realize what big softy the blonde is. But, just because he has learned how to trust them doesn’t mean he trusts himself. When the others aren’t looking he tosses his half finished meals, he comes up with excuses to stay at the practice room late or simply sneaks out to get in extra time. He’ll spend hours locked up in a booth singing parts over and over, studying every line of his rap and perfecting them. Once he nailed a move or a line that was when he could rest for a bit, when he could have a snack. In between the practicing was work out time, exercising to stay in top shape. He has to be perfect for their debut, has to make sure he doesn’t make the others look bad.

After months of nonstop practices and rehearsals and filming their reality show, they get a weekend off. Geonhak is aware that the others won’t be heading down to the practice rooms at all so he devises a plan. He convinces everyone that he’s going home for the weekend and packs up a bag, right after practice on Friday they part ways. Geonhak wanders in a different direction to them, Keonhee who is actually going home is heading to the train, while he said that he would be taking the bus. As soon as he’s sure the others have cleared far enough away, he slips back into the building with his bags and goes down to the practice room and sound booths. He sets up camp in one of the booths, making a bed for himself out of his clothes, then he goes to the practice room and plays Valkyrie so he can go through the dance.

Geonhak manages to practice all through the night, before crashing at around 4 am. He sleeps in until around 10 before getting up again and going right back to it. This morning he opts to start with vocals, his legs still beat from last night. Hour after hour he sits in the booth going through his parts until his voice is straining and his throat feels raw. Around 6 he decides it’s time to do more dance practice. He starts off with Red Thread, a fairly easy choreo, and works his way through all of their tracks, practicing expressions.

Back at the dorms everyone was relaxing, all of them sleeping a fair amount of the day away, and playing games. Seoho is playing a game while Hwanwoong and Youngjo watch a movie. Dongju emerges from his room to join the couple watching the movie.

“Hey, have any of you guys seen my phone?” Dongju had noticed earlier it had been missing since yesterday. But he has a laptop he can watch shows on so he wasn’t too worried, but it still hadn’t turned up and he was beginning to worry.

“No, I don’t think I have,” Hwanwoong answers.

“When was the last time you saw it Ju?” Youngjo asks.

“Well, I know I had it during practice yesterday, but I can’t remember having it after that,” he replies.

“How about you go check the practice room for it? You might have left it there,” Youngjo suggests.

“You’re right, I’m gonna go check. I’ll be back soon,” with that he’s putting on his shoes and jacket and is out the door walking to the company building.

It takes Dongju about fifteen minutes to get there, taking his time walking. Once he arrives he greets the staff that are still around and makes his way towards the practice room. Dongju halts in his steps the second he hears music coming from the room; the telltale music of Valkyrie. He approaches and glances through the window to find Geonhak inside dancing. The older man appears exhausted as the music comes to a close and he goes to restart it, Dongju is surprised he hasn’t passed out.  _ Isn’t Geonhak supposed to be home with family? _ He asks himself. Without waiting another moment he bursts through the door, surprising the other.

“Dongju? W-what are you doing here?” Geonhak is clearly uneasy at being found out.

“The better question might be what are you doing here? I thought you were going home this weekend Geonhak?” Dongju demands an answer.

“N-nothing. I was just practicing,” Geonhak collapses down to the floor a wave of dizzy nausea hitting him.

“When was the last time you ate? And not just a snack,” Dongju asks, concerned, and rushes over to his side.

“I… I don’t know..” Geonhak tells him honestly, the room spinning.

“Oh Geonhak, let me find my phone and I’ll call the others,” Dongju states.

“NO! No, just give me a few minutes I’ll be fine,” Geonhak insists, eyes closed in pain.

“Hakkie, you’re not okay, I need to call for help,” Dongju strokes his hair lightly.

“Can you just get me some water?” Geonhak ignores everything the younger man says.

“Of course,” Dongju stands and finds his phone before grabbing a cup of water for the other.

“Thank you Ju,” Geonhak says grabbing the water in his hand as he shakily sits up.

“Where is your bag?” Dongju looks at him seriously.

“It’s in booth 2,” Geonhak tells him, knowing he can’t get out of this now.

“Alright, I’ll gather your stuff up and then we are getting a cab back to the dorm,” Dongju doesn’t give him time to argue before going for his things.

It takes Dongju a good thirty minutes to get them both out of the practice room in one piece, trying to get Geonhak to the front door takes a lot of effort. His smaller, thinner frame being strained trying to hold up the older. They climb into the back of the cab the younger called and are silent as they ride back to the dorm. As soon as they arrive Dongju helps Geonhak out and up to their front door before he stops.

“Oh, so Hwanwoong is kinda sleeping in your room, because you were supposed to be gone. Which we are going to discuss. Anyway, you can stay in my room with me if you want to,” Dongju explains, to which Geonhak just solemnly nods his head. After opening the door they find Seoho sitting on the couch, still playing games it seems.

“Hey, you find your-wait Geonhak?” Seoho looks surprised and confused.

“We can talk tomorrow, right now can you just get him into my room for me while I grab some food,” Dongju tells the older.

“Okay. Come here Geonhak,” Seoho grabs the other around the waist and guides him to the youngests’ room. Dongju sighs in relief knowing Geonhak will be able to sit and rest, he goes to the kitchen and makes some ramen for the both of them. He carries the food back to his room but is stopped by Hwanwoong on the way.

“Hey Ju, you find your phone?” Hwanwoong asks.

“Uh yeah, all good now,” Dongju watches the bowls in his hands making sure he doesn’t spill.

“Woah, you hungry?” he notices the two bowls.

“Oh, they’re not both for me, one is for Geonhak. We will talk in the morning,” Dongju insists. Before anyone can ask anymore questions, he slips by the shorter and nudges his room door open. He finds Geonhak propped up on his bed with a few pillows behind his back, he’s clutching hard onto a kitten plushie Dongju sleeps with. He makes his way over and sets the bowls down on the nightstand and grabs his wheeled table to eat off of. They begin eating in silence, Geonhak slowly taking small bites.

“Thank you, for the dinner,” Geonhak whispers.

“Of course, but Hakkie, you have to actually eat it. You didn’t fool everyone with your eating habits, and I am no longer letting it slip, you are not starving yourself.”

“I’m sorry Dongju, I’m sorry you have to look after me like this, I’m just a burden on this group,” Geonhak lets silent tears fall.

“No. You are not. Do not think for a second that you are a burden on any of us. We love and care about you Geonhak, we are a family and we take care of each other,” Dongju states firmly.

“Okay…” Geonhak trails off, going back to his food.

“I don’t want to distract you from eating but… why? Why are you doing all this? And pushing yourself so hard? It’s not healthy,” Dongju lets his concern show.

“I’m not good enough. Not to perform with you guys, my dancing is off and my rapping is awful. I shouldn’t even be debuting,” Geonhak admits.

“That is not true Hak, you are an amazing dancer. Your moves are so fluid and strong, you are quite the force when you dance, and your rapping with your deep voice gives me shivers every time. Then when you switch to your singing voice, it’s like honey. Geonhak you are more than worthy of debuting and especially with us. I’m so glad Youngjo got you to join us, you make this group amazing,” Dongju doesn’t stop until he’s sure he’s got it into Geonhak’s head.

“Thank you Ju, but that doesn’t mean our fans will think the same thing,” Geonhak tells him.

“Yes they will, I know they will. But none will be a match for me, I’ll always be your biggest fan,” Dongju encourages him.

“Well then I guess I have to be your biggest fan in return huh?” Geonhak jokes lightly, with a small smile.

“Yes, yes you do. You have no choice,” Dongju answers with a straight face before laughing.

“I’m done,” Geonhak announces, pointing to his bowl, it’s still a quarter full.

“Okay. We will get your appetite back up to normal, but for tonight I’m very proud of you. Alright, I’m done as well,” Dongju pushes the table away from them and climbs over to the other side of Geonhak to sit.

“Hey Dongju, I know this is your bed but can I stay?” Geonhak asks quietly.

“Yes of course, do you want me to stay here with you, or would you rather I move to Woongie’s bed?” Dongju checks.

“Stay, please,” Geonhak whispers as he adjusts himself to lay down.

“Okay, I would force you up to get ready for bed but I know how tired you are, and frankly I don’t know if I can be your crutches anymore tonight. I’ll be back in a few minutes, do you want me to shut off the light?” Dongju gets up to brush his teeth.

“Yeah, but uhm, can we have the fairy lights on?” Geonhak looks cute all wrapped up in blankets and acting all shy, Dongju thinks.

“Sure thing,” Dongju flicks on his fairy lights and shuts off the main light before making his way to the bathroom.

“Is he okay?” he gets bombarded by Youngjo as soon as he’s in the hallway.

“Yes, he’s alright, just let him rest. Like I told the others, we can talk tomorrow,” Dongju confirms, weaving around the oldest to the bathroom. He washes his face up and brushes his teeth, and pees quickly before heading back to his room.

“Ju, is that you?” he hears Geonhak ask towards the door as he steps in.

“Yeah it’s me, I’m coming Hakkie,” Dongju responds, making his way to the bed and climbing in beside him. Geonhak instantly turns towards the younger and cuddles up to him, placing his head on Dongju’s chest and wrapping his arm around his torso. Dongju responds by wrapping his arms around the older and gives him a tight squeeze. He then begins tracing patterns on the older’s back as his other hand moves up towards his bleach damaged hair and runs his hand through it gently.

“Goodnight Ju, thank you for taking care of me,” he hears Geonhak say softly.

“I’ll always be here for you,” Dongju insists, and leaves a light kiss on the top of Geonhak’s head before they both drift off to sleep. Geonhak gets the best sleep of his life that night.

One good night of sleep doesn’t halt the fact that Dongju had promised everyone they would talk in the morning. The younger crawls out from under Geonhak so he can slip out and not wake him. Geonhak stirs from the movement and opens his eyes slightly.

“What’s going on?” Geonhak grumbles.

“I’m gonna go chat with the others, you can stay and sleep more,” Dongju tells him.

“No, I should get up too, be there to explain things,” he replies.

“Hak, I want you to rest okay, I’ll talk to them. I know you don’t really want to, and I’ll make sure they don’t come coddle you to death, that is now my job,” Dongju insists.

“Okay. But who said it was your job?” the older asks.

“I did. After all I am your number one fan so it’s my job to look after you, you giant baby.”

“Fine,” Geonhak rolls his eyes, but turns over to sleep again, the spot where Dongju was still warm and comforting. Dongju lays a gentle kiss on his head and leaves to talk to the others who, he finds, are all waiting in the living room.

“Look who’s finally awake,” Hwanwoong declares, overdramatic.

“Woong, I’m gonna need less attitude,” Dongju looks over at Hwanwoong, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Sorry, I’m just anxious about all this, will he be okay? Seoho said he was really out of it last night,” Hwanwoong apologizes.

“It’s okay. And he was, but he was just exhausted,” Dongju says.

“So what happened? Why was he even at the company building?” Youngjo asks seriously.

“He was there practicing. He lied to us all, he wasn’t going home, he was camping there. Not like he was really sleeping probably, but that’s not our only issue,” Dongju sighs the rest of them looking at him in shock. “Well when I found him, he had worked himself half to death, his voice was hoarse and he was a mess. Hell, he collapsed to the floor,” Dongju spares no details.

“Oh fuck,” Youngjo puts his head in his hands, wondering what he could possibly do.

“I haven’t gotten to the worst part. I noticed a couple weeks ago but I didn’t think it was bad, I thought he was just cutting back a little. I should’ve said something though,” Dongju admits guiltily.

“What?” Hwanwoong asks.

“He’s been starving himself. And he’s doing all this because he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be a part of this group, or even debut,” Dongju states solemnly.

“I thought we had all this stuff figured out, the insecurity thing. Not the starving, he wasn’t doing that before. But we talked about it together and I thought he was doing better,” Youngjo lets his worry and upset show.

“Probably because he found out about you and Woongie,” Seoho comments.

“No, he said it was all fine, it couldn’t be,” Youngjo looks torn, “I don’t want it to be my fault.”

“It’s not,” they hear from the doorway, they look and find Geonhak standing there.

“Are you sure?” Youngjo asks sadly.

“Yes, I’m sure. Someone I used to train with at a different company he-he messaged me because he heard I was debuting. I’m sorry I kept it from you Youngjo, I just didn’t want to trouble you I guess,” Geonhak tells them all.

“That’s crazy, you will never be trouble for us, we all love you and care about you, we are here for you whenever,” Youngjo insists.

“I know, I don’t know, I got in my own head. I promise I’ll be better about this stuff,” Geonhak says to them.

“Then why are you hiding a bag like you’re going to sneak off to practice?” Dongju asks with a raised brow.

“It’s not. It’s my phone and my laptop, I’m giving them up until I’m better,” Geonhak walks over to them and hands the youngest the bag, which he confirms contains what Geonhak said.

“I think that’s a good idea. We are here to help okay, but let us know if you need space or anything,” Dongju says, laying a hand on Geonhak’s shoulders.

“Well, I was gonna ask if you could come back to bed, I sleep better with someone else there,” the blonde shyly asks.

“Of course, but can I have you eat breakfast first?” Dongju cautiously approaches the subject.

“I’m not very hungry right now, but maybe I can try some yogurt?” the older suggests.

“Sounds good, you go back and lay down, I’ll be in soon,” Dongju replies.

“Aw look at our baby taking care of our Geonhak,” Youngjo coos, pinching Dongju’s cheeks before the younger could get away.

“Yeah, yeah, so sweet,” he rolls his eyes. “I used to do this for Dongmyeong too, I mean yes he mostly took care of me but when he was sick I was by his side for anything he needed- 24/7,” Dongju explains.

“That might be even cuter. You finally admit you love Myeongie,” Seoho coos this time.

“Of course I love him, he’s my twin brother, my built-in best friend, just because I pretend I don’t sometimes doesn’t change that,” Dongju quickly leaves to the kitchen before they can call him adorable any more. Geonhak is waiting on him and he needs to get their breakfast, he grabs two yogurts from the fridge and some fruit. They had gone grocery shopping recently and were stocked up- for now. Dongju makes his way back to his room and walks in to see Geonhak looking much like he had last night, but more alive this time.

The two of them silently eat their breakfasts together, when they finish Geonhak cuddles back up to Dongju. They both lay down and the younger pulls out his phone to put on an anime to watch until they fall back asleep. He’s not very tired himself, but only fifteen minutes into the first episode Geonhak is out like a light, snoring on top of him. Dongju wants to be disgusted by the snoring but he just smiles down at the older, who looks positively adorable laying on top of him. The episode finishes up and Dongju puts his phone to the side, gripping Geonhak a little bit tighter and settling into the bed for a nap.

“Awe look at these two cuties,” someone speaks, the first thing that rouses Dongju from his sleep.

“Wha?” he grumbles, trying to ignore the light blaring against his closed eyelids.

“No lights,” Geonhak pouts and whines, digging his head further into Dongju’s neck.

“Hey you babies, it’s time to get up, we’re gonna go out for lunch. Or late lunch at this rate,” they hear someone tell them.

“‘M not a baby, you’re the baby,” Geonhak’s breath begins tickling at the younger’s neck making him even more aware, though still refusing to open his eyes.

“I mean you are older, but you certainly look like Dongju’s little baby right now,” he now recognizes the voice as Hwanwoong, says.

“We’ll get up, just leave us alone for a minute,” Dongju finally answers.

“Fine, but you better be up in the next ten minutes to start getting ready or Youngjo might make you two pay for your own lunch,” Hwanwoong mocks before skipping out of the room. As soon as they hear the door slam they sit up, Geonhak still cuddles up to the younger, but their eyes now open.

“How did you nap Hakkie?” Dongju asks the older.

“Pretty good, thanks for being my pillow,” he smiles sincerely up at the other.

“You do look like my cute little baby,” Dongju agrees with Hwanwoong’s statement from earlier.

“Shuddup, you’re comfy and warm,” Geonhak pushes his head up further onto Dongju’s collarbone.

“So are you baby,” the younger coos, leaning in to place a kiss on the other’s head.

“Don’t do that,” Geonhak interrupts before he can, so instead Dongju goes down and clutches some of the older’s hair and his scalp between his teeth. He chomps down, causing a yelp to come from him, this earns Dongju a slap on the arm.

“I’m sorry, but you only implied you didn’t want a kiss, you said nothing about biting,” Dongju defends himself while chuckling.

“That was  _ not _ an invitation to bite!” Geonhak shouts, angrily pouting, getting off of the bed to stand away from the biting boy.

“THEY’RE AWAKE!” They hear from somewhere in the dorm.

“Dammit, time to pour this water out,” Hwanwoong can be heard close by the door.

“Okay, let’s get ready, Hwanwoong seems a little hangry,” Dongju points out, Geonhak nods fiercely agreeing. The older goes to his actual room so he can get ready and Dongju goes to his closet to pick out some clothes. They get ready quickly and head out to lunch.

“Thanks for buying us lunch Youngjo!” Dongju says happily, stuffing his face full of the grilled meat in front of them.

“You’re welcome, everyone eat up,” the subliminal message is not lost on them, Youngjo’s silent plea of ‘ _ Geonhak, eat’ _ .

“I am,” he answers, picking at the rice on his plate and eating the occasional piece of meat. He hadn’t felt as hungry as the others when they left for lunch, but the older ones don’t believe that he’s just not hungry.

“Guys, relax. He’s allowed to not always be hungry,” Hwanwoong defends the older boy.

“Thanks Woongie, but it’s fine, they’re allowed to worry,” Geonhak tells him.

“Sorry peanut, sorry Geonhak,” Youngjo apologizes, feeling overly pushy.

“No need, now less talking, more eating. This is an expensive lunch, huh Jo?” Geonhak diverts the attention from him.

“Yes, so let’s get back to it,” they all resume their eating quickly. Lunch doesn’t last long with four hungry boys scarfing down the food, Geonhak does his best but quits early. He meets Seoho’s gaze at one point and can see the sadness and pity, before he can dwell on the feeling a hand is warm on his thigh. Dongju. He looks over at the younger and gets a reassuring smile, the hand moving to his own and gripping it tightly. Geonhak smiles happily over at him, squeezing his hand around the others to let him know he’s okay.

The minute they all clamber back into the dorm, Geonhak sits on the couch, Seoho joins him. They both decide to watch a movie together, Hwanwoong and Youngjo join. Dongju decides to saunter off to his room to watch some more anime on his own, needing some alone time. Though fate must be against him, the second he closes his door he receives a text. He tries to ignore the message but his phone just starts buzzing with a call, he rolls his eyes seeing Dongmyeong’s contact show up.

“What do you want?” he asks disinterested.

“Oh wow, no ‘hi’ for your brother- cold,” Dongmyeong retorts, laughing it off.

“Sorry, I’ve just been around people a lot, and I’m kinda sick of it,” Dongju apologizes. “What are you doing? I thought you were at practice”.

“Well Harin might have whacked his face with one of his sticks, so now we have optional individual practice, I chose not to. Sooo, wanna come hang out?” He can tell Myeong is asking as sweetly as possible to get him to say yes.

“Since you asked so nicely, yes, where are you?”

“I’m in my dorm, come on down,” the other responds before hanging up.

“Hey guys I’m going down to hang with Myeong, seeya later!” Dongju announces as he walks through the apartment to the front door.

“Will you be back for dinner?” he hears Geonhak ask and stops, turning to face him.

“If you want me to,” Dongju responds, which gets a small nod from the older, “okay I’ll see you for dinner”.

“COME IN!” is all Dongju hears after knocking on the front door of the Onewe dorm.

“I could’ve been an intruder and you just shout ‘COME IN’?” Dongju questions when he finds Dongmyeong sprawled on the couch.

“Oh please, I lived with you my entire life, I know how you knock on a door. It’s like a shy kitten,” Dongmyeong answers.

“Well at least I don’t just shout, OPEN THE DOOR, because as we’ve all learned, that doesn’t go well when it’s the wrong house,” Dongju retorts.

“Whatever. So, how are you?” Dongmyeong instantly does a scan of Dongju, a motherly expression taking over his face.

“I’m okay  _ mom _ ” Dongju insists.

“Well good, now I did want to talk. I heard about Geonhak, how is he?” Myeong doesn’t skim around it.

“How did you hear?” Dongju asks.

“Oh please, Seoho and Kanghyun may as well be dating with how much they text”.

“Good point. He’s okay, we’re all going to be looking after him, but mostly it’s just about supporting him and reassuring him,” Dongju informs him.

“That’s good, now onto the real business, how are you handling this?” Dongmyeong gives Dongju his classic ‘don’t bullshit me’ stare.

“I’m fine Myeong,” Dongju insists.

“Cut the bullshit Ju, talk to me now, I’m your brother,” Myeong snaps.

“I don’t know what you want me to say”.

“I don’t want you to ‘say’ anything, I want you to tell me how you’re feeling. From the moment Geonhak walked into the practice room you’ve had a crush on him,” Dongmyeong states.

“It’s gotten worse. He needs someone and I’m trying to do that but he probably still likes Youngjo. All I know is that when I’m with him I get warm butterflies, I don’t even mind the way he snores. Besides all that though, I just wish he saw himself the way I do,” Dongju confesses.

“Well Ju, the only thing you can do is be there for him, and maybe he’ll really see you, but it won’t be the end of the world if that doesn’t happen. Remember, you always have me,” Myeong hugs the other to him tightly, they decide to turn on a video game and Giwook joins them a little while later. Dongju stands when he realizes that they’ve probably already had dinner and he had promised Geonhak he’d be back.

“Fuck. I gotta go,” he grabs his phone seeing it full of messages.

“Bye!” the two shout as he rushes out of the dorm and up the stairs.

Dongju bursts through the door dramatically to find Seoho, Youngjo, Hwanwoong and Keonhee sitting around the coffee table eating with a movie on. The disappointed stares instantly start, he sighs to himself. Youngjo gives him a pitied sad look when he notices just how bad the younger must be feeling.

“He refused to eat,” Seoho buts in.

“Guys he clearly already feels guilty, lay off our baby,” Youngjo defends Dongju.

“It’s okay, pile it all on. I’m sorry,” he collapses into the chair closest to him.

“We aren’t the ones who deserve an apology,” Seoho points out.

“You’re right,” Dongju stands determined, grabbing a mix of foods from the table and going to his room. Geonhak is not to be found in the younger’s bed, but he notices his cat plush is not there either. He continues his search to Geonhak and Youngjo’s room, but still finds it empty. Until he hears soft laughs coming from the closet in the corner, pulling the door open he finds Geonhak wrapped up in a blanket watching a show on Youngjo’s laptop with the plushie.

“What are you doing here?” Geonhak is clearly not happy.

“I’m sorry, time just slipped past me. I’m here now Hak,” Dongju points out, “Anymore room in there?” he questions.

“We can go over to my bed, I just like hiding in here sometimes to watch shows, there’s no glare this way,” Geonhak begins crawling out.

“As long as I don’t find you crying. I’m really sorry for upsetting you Hakkie, it wasn’t my intention”.

“I know you didn’t mean to, I’m sorry for being so sensitive,” Geonhak shyly stares at the ground, guilt creeping in.

“Don’t you apologize, it was my fault I was late. You are allowed to react however you want if someone lets you down, just like I did,” Dongju insists.

“Okay. Let’s stop talking about it, it’s dinnertime,” Geonhak smiles, picking up a pair of chopsticks and opening the containers Dongju brought with him.

“Yes, it is dinnertime,” Dongju readily agrees. Geonhak pulls the show he was watching back up and they pick where he had left off. Even after finishing their dinners they don’t move, until Geonhak complains about his butt falling asleep and Dongju laughs when he finds himself feeling the same way. Dongju takes care of the containers left over from their dinner and gets a gentle reminder from Youngjo that they have practice in the morning. Once he returns to Geonhak’s room he cuddles up with the older on his bed, they set up to watch a movie. Dongju barely notices when Geonhak falls asleep but suddenly a head is leaning against his shoulder and snores are filling the room alongside the movie.

Eventually Youngjo walks into the room still in his day clothes but clearly ready for bed. He notices the youngest still up sitting on the bed with Geonhak snuggled into his shoulder, he chuckles at the sight, never having witnessed Dongju be so caring. At that moment it hits him and he makes a gesture for Dongju to meet him in the hallway. So the younger quickly moves Geonhak’s head onto a pillow and tucks kitty into his arms before turning off the laptop they had been using.

“What’s up?” Dongju asks in a whisper.

“You like him,” Youngjo has this look on his face as if no one could convince him otherwise.

“Why would you think that?” he tries to shake off the older’s accusation.

“No, no, no. You aren’t avoiding it now, spill,” Youngjo insists.

“Fine. Yes, I do. Satisfied?” Dongju asks incredulously.

“Slightly. Since when?”

“The moment he walked into the practice room to meet us,” Dongju mumbles.

“Oh wow,” he says, which gets an eye roll from the younger. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad about this Dongju, I just needed to make sure. You can always talk to me about it if you need to”.

“Thanks Youngjo, I’ll be okay,” he claims.

“Are you going to sleep in here?” Youngjo asks finally.

“No, I’m going to my own bed. He has a plushie of mine that should help but if he wakes up you know what to do,” Dongju silently thanks Youngjo and turns in the direction of his room to crash for the night.

Geonhak is woken up bright and early to the sound of Hwanwoong barging into their room, sleepy and annoyed, Keonhee following behind closely. He finds himself unwilling to care about whatever it is that happened and rolls over in his bed hoping Youngjo will let him rest a little longer.

“Hey! It’s not my fault!” Keonhee shouts.

“Alright you two, whatever the hell is going on here we are going to solve in the living room, Geonhak is still sleeping,” Youngjo angrily whispers at them. Geonhak hears the soft open and close of the room door before he feels his mind drift off into dreamland once again.

The next time his eyes peel open he notices a warmth next to him holding on tightly, the gentle scent of coconut finds its way to his nose and he instantly knows it’s Dongju. The youngest boy being the only one with coconut scented shower products. Geonhak doesn’t question the boy's presence and instead cuddles more into the heat source. His eyes slip closed again as he feels a hand reach up and tangles itself in his growing hair, slowly petting and lulling him back into a light nap. He rouses for the last time when the warmth shifts and leaves, Geonhak hears himself whine and reaches out for Dongju.

“Hakkie I’ll be back, I just have to go to the bathroom, do you want me to get you some breakfast?” Dongju asks quietly, smiling when he sees Geonhak nod his head with a small pout, eyes still closed.

The older doesn’t open his eyes until he hears the door close after Dongju, he glances over at the clock and gasps when the time reads 11:00. They were supposed to be at the practice room at 8, what the hell is he doing still in bed? Scrambling up, he rushes to his dresser ripping it open and blindly grabbing at some clothes to wear. He’s halfway through getting dressed when Dongju walks back in, seeing Geonhak in the middle of the room, pants half up and arm sleeves tangled inside out and shirt half over his head.

“Uhm, what’s going on?” Dongju asks curiously.

“We have to get to practice, we’re late,” Geonhak informs him, wondering how the younger couldn’t have noticed.

“Geonhak, get back into your pajamas, we aren’t going today. Well you aren’t going all week the rest of us are just gonna take shifts checking on you during break. But Youngjo let me stay with you today, said he would cover for me,” Dongju explains to him.

“Why do I get a week off? Surely our manager isn’t okay with that”.

“He doesn’t love it but he is allowing it. You need to rest Hak, and not just for a day and a half. You are seriously overworked and I hate to bring it up, but your appetite isn’t up to where it should be yet,” Dongju insists, taking the shirt from Geonhak and handing him a sweatshirt instead.

“I understand. I’m still allowed to work out a bit right?” Geonhak asks.

“Yes you should still keep up with stretches and some light daily workouts, other than that you must rest. Right now though, we must eat”.

“Yes sir! You wanna eat out in the living room instead of in bed though?” Geonhak questions.

“Sure. I didn’t even think about that,” Dongju replies. After changing back into sweatpants the two make their way out to the living room and settle onto the couches. Dongju switches on the tv and sets the channel to some random cartoon, they dig into the oatmeal the younger made.

“Wait Ju. What made you stay?” Geonhak asks suddenly after they finish up their breakfasts.

“What do you mean?” Dongju replies, slumping back against the couch and wrapping a blanket around himself.

“Well you said Youngjo let you stay, so this wasn’t planned. What made you want to- well besides the obvious getting out of practice- and why did Youngjo even allow it?” Geonhak questions seriously.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I didn’t want you waking up confused and all alone too. So I asked Youngjo if it would be okay and he said just for today, so here I am,” Dongju answers, skipping over the part where he practically begged Youngjo to let him stay and the oldest teasing him for it. Although he doubts that Youngjo would’ve actually said no, he was probably just trying to see how desperate the youngest would get to have another day off with Geonhak.

“Oh okay, thanks. Wanna put on a movie or something?” Geonhak changes the subject.

“Ooo yes! How about we watch Brave?” Dongju offers. Geonhak nods in agreement and puts the movie in to watch. When he returns he opts for a seat closer to Dongju, and the change in seats prompts the younger to lean his head against the older. Geonhak leans into it and wraps an arm around Dongju, cuddling close has become the norm for them he’s noticed and he finds himself liking it.

The week drags on and as Geonhak recovers and regains his appetite, he feels better and better. He almost can’t believe that he had resorted to making himself feel like shit to try to improve himself, it was just hurting him. Along with his physical state, himself and the members notice that his mental state has improved as well. Though he has had his moments, this week of rest has helped infinitely. Despite all the positivity, Youngjo reminds him that just because it’s been a good week doesn’t mean they all will and not to be discouraged if he finds himself feeling worse.

Getting back to practice is rocky at first, his body has muscle memory for all the dances, but his stamina doesn’t remember how to do all the songs without a break. He’s discouraged by all the breaks he’s having to take while the others keep going but Hwanwoong and Seoho reassure him that it’s normal and he just has to warm back up to the pace. Slowly he gets back into it and before any of them even realize it’s a mere week until their debut. Anxiety is at an all time high every time they’re in the practice room but they all push through until the day arrives.

Geonhak is beyond nervous when he wakes up at his alarm on the morning of  _ debut day, _ as they’ve been calling it. He had one of the worst anxiety dreams last night, going to sing and nothing coming out, trying to dance and falling. Even wakes up in a cold sweat a few times in the middle of the night. All the rest of the members are nervous but they’ve put their worries aside to help Geonhak with his nerves, especially Dongju. Though he’s tried to get them to stop being so concerned about him they refuse to listen. The whole team powered through the last week, but today is the day.

Today is the make or break of the entire group, their managers were pushing them harder than they ever had. All of them were awake before the sun even rose, leaving the dorm by five in the morning to get to the practice room to go over the dances and warm up. Their coaches and choreographer pulled them into pep talks, by the time lunch rolled around they were headed over to the studio. Geonhak was shoved into the back of the van alongside Seoho and Youngjo, they let the youngsters have the better seats. The van was more silent than he ever remembered it being, the most prominent noises were the turn signal and all of them trying to eat as much as possible before arriving. They wouldn’t be done until around 10 p.m and this was the only free time to eat. Dongju looked back at Geonhak when they met eyes the younger smiled at Geonhak watching him eating as well. The whole group was proud of him for overcoming so much in his trainee days but Dongju especially. He doesn’t quite understand why Dongju acts differently than everyone else about all that happened. All he really knows is that when the youngest gives him that dazzling smile, oozing with pride, a warm rush of emotion sweeps over him. Geonhak can’t deny that he has a big soft spot for the baby, but he still gets all mushy when Youngjo holds him just right, even though he knows it’s wrong.

The blue haired shakes away all the thoughts about his members and focuses his thoughts on tonight's performance as they pull up at the studio. Instantly after climbing out of the van they are rushed by staff members of the show inside the building and to a dressing room. Makeup artists are already in the room occupying the shelf space by the mirrors, ready to get the boys made up and looking flawless. The first two to go are Hwanwoong and Keonhee so Geonhak follows the others over to the couch to sit and relax. Dongju is instantly pulled away by one of the stylists so he can get into his concert outfit, Geonhak slowly leans over until his head meets Youngjo’s shoulder.

“The day has finally come Hak, how are you doing?” Youngjo questions lightly.

“I’m doing pretty good considering, I’ll probably be worse off the closer we get to actually performing. For now though, I’m okay. How are you feeling Jo?” Geonhak answers.

“I’m alright, definitely stressed and worried, but I believe in us,” Youngjo tells him honestly.

“I do too, so let’s kill it tonight,” Seoho butts into their conversation, leaning his weight onto Geonhak.

“Oh thanks, I totally want you to lay on me,” Geonhak states sarcastically.

“I knew you did, my own personal pillow, so cozy,” Seoho snuggles further into him.

“I should go get dressed, you two get off,” Youngjo says, ignoring the two and pushing them up and off of him.

“Are we sure Youngjo is okay?” Seoho suddenly whispers, asking the younger.

“What do you mean?” Geonhak looks over at their leader getting suited up for the show.

“He just seems a little off, I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. Anyway, I’d love to cuddle more but I have to get hair and makeup done,” Seoho pries himself up and off of the younger one and walks across the room to the empty seat waiting for him. Geonhak ponders Seoho’s question for a moment longer before he gives up and turns his attention to his phone.

He lays his head back scrolling through the hashtag for their debut, seeing quite a few people excited for them. This causes him to smile big and lights a surge of confidence in him for the performance. When his name is called he drops his phone onto the table in front of the couch and walks over to get into his outfit, they had already done multiple fit checks in these and the pieces slip on like a glove. After donning the apparel he does a few stretches to release tension from the fabric after it hung in one spot for so long. Immediately he’s being shepherded by the staff into a chair to get his hair and makeup done, he looks over to find Dongju getting his final touches. The boy is pouting his lips to get some gloss applied to them and Geonhak stares a little bit, shamelessly, before the woman doing his hair moves his head to face forward. All of his members are incredibly handsome but Youngjo and Dongju are especially stunning, in Geonhak’s own opinion.

He stares down his own reflection in the mirror while his hair is sprayed and clipped into place, though by the end of the night it would inevitably all sweat out. Despite being called ugly numerous times Geonhak doesn’t think he has the worst face ever. Although he believes he is the worst looking in the group they all tell him that’s not true, but if he could fix things here and there without surgery he would. He’s taken out of his thoughts as the makeup artist comes over to him and blocks his view.

As soon as all of them are done with hair, makeup and getting dressed they head out to the stage for lighting and sound check. They stand and wait while the lights and music are prepared for them, Seoho practicing his parts the whole time. Soon the lights go down for the beginning and the six of them take their spots and they make their way through the whole set. Upon finishing they are taken off the stage by staff and lead back to the dressing room, this is their time to rest and adjust and go over every last detail while they wait for the stage to be cleaned again and the place to be filled with fans. They get the go ahead from their manager and the group circles up on the side of the stage to do a quick chant before hitting the stage for their official debut.

Each song seems to go by quickly, the boys nervous but making minimal mistakes, the crowd is cheering and excited and they all feed off the energy. Geonhak’s confidence surges when he hears the cheers and sees all the signs that were made for him. The whole show is going smoothly until just before the ending of ZigZag the audio starts going wonky. Geonhak looks around to see all of them confused and worried but they all press on and finish the song professionally. And with that surprise ending the debut stage is over, but before they can exit the stage, Dongmyeong is walking out pushing a cart with a cake sitting on top. Dongju smiles at the sight of his brother on such an important day, and right before their birthday. The members all turn into crying messes as they are congratulated by Dongmyeong and the crowd for their amazing effort. Keonhee is the worst off, sobbing openly, but before his crying gets any worse, he runs over to Dongmyeong and hugs him tight. After exiting the stage, the rest of the night is a rush of emotions and blur of people; staff and Onewe members alike. None of them thought they’d ever been so grateful to see their dorm.

The promotion for their first mini album charges on, beginning instantly the next day, interviews and meetings, practices and talks of new material. Geonhak knew it would be stressful to be an idol, the workload being a lot, but he’s beyond ecstatic to be living his dream. Though not all of the team seem to be quite as happy. Since that moment in the dressing room when Seoho mentioned Youngjo seeming off he’s grown worse in front of all of them. Geonhak sees it every time they settle down for bed; Youngjo’s sighs deeper and sleeps fitful. He’s never as enthusiastic as he had been. It’s about a month after their debut when the oldest gathers them all together for dinner.

“Okay, so, I had a meeting today guys, and I have news,” Youngjo announces, a solemn look on his face.

“What’s going on?” Keonhee asks, glancing around and noticing Hwanwoong appearing upset.

“Youngjo is everything okay?” Seoho questions, the tension in the room rising as they notice the seriousness of the situation.

“Tell them,” Hwanwoong meekly says, quiet sobs beginning to leave him.

“I’m leaving. Before you jump to conclusions, this is not for forever, I just need a break and RBW has allowed me to take one. My hiatus will be officially announced tomorrow and I’m going to be moving back to my parents house. I might be back before the end of promotions but more than likely you will be finishing Valkyrie promotions without me and I will be back for our first comeback”.

“Why?” is the first thing to be spoken after the news is delivered, Geonhak needs an explanation for this.

“Long story short, my mental health isn’t great and the stress of idol life is making it all worse. So, I met with our manager about it and he agreed that it would be best for me and the group that I take a break,” Youngjo explains.

“We understand, but we’ll miss you,” Seoho speaks up in the lull of silence as everyone gathers their thoughts.

“We promise to try our hardest in every performance,” Dongju pipes in.

“Yes we will! But just know it won’t feel the same with just five,” Keonhee adds.

“You’re sleeping with me tonight,” Hwanwoong blubbers, this hurts him the most.

“Of course baby,” Youngjo looks over to Geonhak who has yet to say anything, worry shining through his features.

“I’ll be okay, I promise,” Geonhak answers the unasked question in Youngjo’s eyes, “I’ve got Dongju, and the rest of them too,” he chuckles softly to lighten the mood.

“Hey! We are just as good as that little baby,” Keonhee argues.

“Yes I’m sure you will try to be,” they all laugh as Keonhee pouts angrily.

“I’ll miss you guys too, I love you all,” Youngjo states after the laughter dies down.

“Let’s just enjoy tonight, play some games and watch a movie,” Dongjus suggests and they all nod, piling their way into the living room to set up for the last long night of fun all six of them will have for a while.

That night they joke and mess around, Geonhak sleeps with Dongju so that the couple can have a night semi-alone. Free to be as lovey dovey as they want without Geonhak feeling that small ping in his heart. As loud as last night had been when they woke up the next morning it’s silent, the mood sad. They can all feel the looming weight of what was coming and as soon as noon hits they get the notification for a tweet; Youngjo’s official hiatus announcement. Shortly after, with bags already packed, Youngjo hugs everyone tight before leaving indefinitely. The sound of the door closing makes it official, Hwanwoong lets a sob slip out of him before he runs to his room.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Keonhee says, going after the younger.

“Man, I know we are now down a member for the time being and obviously someone we care about but, Hwanwoong just lost his boyfriend in a way. I wish I could help him but I can’t,” Seoho points out.

“He just needs time, they’ll be okay, Youngjo will be back eventually,” Dongju reassures the older two.

“Well, now you are the oldest Seoho, so you better be ready to take care of us,” Geonhak tells him.

“And as the next oldest I’m expecting some leadership and help from you Geonhak, so we’ll split Youngjo’s chore time between us. There is also the matter of dance practice, obviously we usually follow Hwanwoong but you’re going to have to help at least because he’s hurting. Got it Hak?” Seoho begins discussing while the three move to the couches.

“Splitting chore time sounds good, but are you sure I should be the one to help with dance practice?” Geonhak asks, unsure of the older’s decision.

“Yes I am, you and Woongie are our best dancers, trust me”.

“If I have to, I guess I will,” Geonhak is still questioning the validity of that statement.

“Thank you, and Dongju. I don’t really know, just keep being cute?” Seoho looks at the younger.

“You got it Seo,” Dongju sends him a wink and a bright smile, Geonhak feels his stomach do that flippy thing.  _ ‘Maybe I’m hungry?’ _ he ponders.

The five of them spend the rest of the day in mostly silence, not talking much and staying to themselves, processing the new arrangement. Dongju slips into Geonhak’s room shortly after dinner has been eaten. He wordlessly joins the older man on his bed to watch anime with him. It’s not until Dongju begins to yawn and his head bobs with sleep that Geonhak asks him why he’s in his room.

“Why’d you come into my room Dongju?” Geonhak quietly asks.

“Figured you might not want to be alone just yet,” Dongju gives an excuse.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but I know that’s not the real- or at least the whole- reason,” Geonhak gives the younger a stare that reads he wants the truth.

“Okay, Keonhee is sleeping on my bed tonight because I guess Hwanwoong wanted Keonhee to stay with him but not on the same bed, I’m not exactly sure. Anyway, there’s that and then I figured Seoho wouldn’t let me barge in so easily but I figured you’d be okay,” Dongju explains.

“Alright, then let’s go get ready, you can take Youngjo’s bed if you want but you’re also welcome to stay in my bed with me too,” Geonhak offers.

“I kinda want to be held. I’m nowhere near Woongie level of upset but it’s still not fun having Jo gone,” Dongju admits, a little shyly as they make their way to the bathroom.

“Of course baby. Just so you know you never have to ask to stay with me, I just wanted to know why. Also if you ever need cuddles I’m usually willing,” Geonhak gives the younger a light pat on the head as they begin brushing their teeth.

“Thanks Hakkie,” Dongju smiles, his toothbrush dangling out of his mouth. They finish getting ready and step into some pajamas for the night. They may have had an emotionally-off day today, but tomorrow brings more practice and performances, as well as a radio show. Geonhak settles onto the bed close to the wall, the younger climbs in after him and scoots himself right up next to Geonhak. Dongju rests his head on Geonhak’s chest and his arms instantly wrap around Dongju in a protective, tight and warm hold that causes his heart to race and a smile to turn up the corners of his mouth.

“Goodnight Ju,” Geonhak whispers, placing a gentle kiss on the crown of the other’s head, smiling at the ceiling as he floats off into a dream.

It takes all of the boys a little while to get into a routine after Youngjo leaves for his hiatus, Seoho realizes just how much Youngjo has to handle for them. Constantly going into meetings alone, even ones he doesn’t need to attend so that he can stay up to date on not only their teams events but also Onewe and Mamamoo’s as well. Seoho is constantly stressed in the first week, running around like a madman, Geonhak steps up and offers to go to some of them instead. He figures with the amount of meetings split between two of them they can stay up to date without either of them stretched too thin. They slowly get used to the shift in responsibilities. Dance practice is a whole other beast for Geonhak to tackle, with talks of a comeback in just a few months and Valkyrie promotions still going on. He has to work closely with the group's choreographer to come up with new dances, and keep Hwanwoong in the loop with it too. Then the days when the choreographer is out and he has to lead practice, Geonhak doesn’t know how Hwanwoong does this all the time. His main weakness is letting mistakes slip through the cracks, being too soft on the members, he doesn’t want to hurt their feelings.

“Geonhak! Dongju just made another mistake, if you’re going to lead these practices you need to start cracking down,” Hwanwoong shouts at him.

“Fine. Dongju, you were a beat too slow and you need to bring your hands down quicker into position,” Geonhak instructs.

“Can you show me again?” Dongju requests.

“Yeah of course, like this,” Geonhak shows him how to execute the move. “Alright, now you”.

“Like?” Dongju flicks his hands down and steps with the imaginary beat.

“Better, now let’s try together again,” Geonhak starts the song over again and they start in position for the dance, they barely make it to halfway.

“Stop! Keonhee now you’re getting it all wrong! Why can’t anyone get this shit right?” Hwanwoong begins shouting.

“Alright, you guys break and practice whatever you need to, Woongie you’re coming out to the hallway with me,” Geonhak says, grabbing the younger by the hand.

“Why the fuck are you pulling me out?” Hwanwoong shouts.

“Because you’re being fucking rude, so right now you can either listen to me and calm down or you can walk back to the dorm by yourself”.

“You don’t mean that, I doubt you could ever actually be rude, idiot,” Hwanwoong spits back.

“Hwanwoong, you heard Geonhak, get a new attitude or leave,” Seoho, Keonhee and Dongju pour out of the room to join.

“Why shouldn’t he leave?” Hwanwoong retorts, then gasps as he realizes what he said. “Hak, I’m sorry”.

“Yeo Hwanwoong, I know you miss your boyfriend and you’re hurting because he’s gone, but right now there is nothing you can do about it. Right now, you have a responsibility to the rest of the team, to practice with us. If you can’t do that, get out of this building and back to the dorm right fucking now, because I will not put up with a whiney brat who just wants everyone else to feel as shitty as him,” Geonhak snaps. Hwanwoong is quiet for a few moments.

“I’ll come back to practice and I’ll stop interrupting, you are leading us in this,” Hwanwoong concedes, knowing he is in the wrong.

“Okay, we’re gonna take a quick bathroom break and then we’ll be back in ten,” Geonhak announces, stalking off to get juice from the cafe.

“Hey, are you okay? I’ve never really seen you snap like that,” Dongju walks up behind the older one.

“I’m fine Ju, thanks. I just snapped a bit because I am tired of taking people’s shit and letting it get to me. I just need a little cool off,” Geonhak explains.

“Can I come with or?”.

“I’d like to be alone for a couple if that’s alright, to collect myself,” Dongju nods and walks off back to the studio to his water bottle.

_Oh fuck_. Is the first thought that comes to Dongju’s mind when he sees Geonhak go off on Hwanwoong. He had never seen Hak mad before, probably none of them have if everyone’s faces said anything. Woongie was being extra dramatic today for absolutely no reason, and while Dongju himself wanted to yell at him for being like this, he expected Seoho to be the one to do it; being their temporary leader and all. But damn, watching Geonhak get mad like that and yell, _that was_ _HOT_ , he can’t help but think. Though he doesn’t like when any of the members fight, serious or not, he could stand to watch Geonhak yell like that again; which will probably never happen seeing as he’s the softest baby.

Dongju watches Geonhak return to the studio ten minutes later, a half finished apple juice in his hands, and an attempt at a smile on his face. They all return to position after Geonhak speaks to Hwanwoong quietly. The remainder of the day flies by and then they are back at the dorm enjoying dinner together while watching some new film Keonhee had wanted to see. Dongju watches Geonhak turn in early, and waits a while before walking to that room to talk to him.

“Hey, can I come in?” Dongju asks, peeking his head through the door to see Geonhak laying down, staring up at the ceiling.

“Yeah, of course you can,” Geonhak replies after glancing to see who it is.

“Are you doing okay Hak?” Dongju questions, he sees the puzzled look on Geonhak’s face deepen at the question from where he sits next to the older.

“I don’t know, today kinda messed with me a little bit. Just seeing Hwanwoong so upset has been hard, I mean obviously we’re all upset about Youngjo leaving for now but for him it’s different,” Geonhak ponders aloud.

“What do you mean? How did it mess with you?” Dongju presses.

“I’ve just always wanted that, I mean it’s hard to date in the idol industry period, but also being gay- it’s impossible. Seoho and Keonhee are so lucky because they don’t have to be afraid of rejection, well Keonhee maybe sometimes if he’s into a guy. But they like girls and that will make shit so much easier, I’ve always been rejected, or slapped, or laughed at. It’s just that especially after that time of constant bullying and getting shit on, I just want that one person who loves me more than anything, who can be my person and I can be theirs. I doubt it’ll ever happen, I mean look at me,” Geonhak let’s all his feelings run out.

“Don’t say that Hak, I’m sure you’ll find someone. Plus you’re amazing, who wouldn’t want to love you?” the younger refutes, staring at the older starry eyed.

“I don’t know Dongju, I don’t think anyone ever will,” Geonhak sits up, ignoring the other’s stare.

“Well, you never know they could be right under your nose,” Dongju takes this as an opportunity to lean against Geonhak’s chest; if only the older weren’t so damn oblivious he would see how damn obvious Dongju is being.

“That thought is a little too hopeful for me. Let’s get ready for bed Ju, you wanna sleep with me?” Geonhak changes the subject smoothly.

“Sure, you seem like you could use the company anyways,” Dongju comments.

“I guess so,” Geonhak adds, the two settle down into bed after doing their nightly routines. The older falls asleep quickly but Dongju remains awake a while longer,  _ how can he not tell? How much longer can I stand pining before I should move on?  _ He asks himself, sadly no answers come to him, until he hears his phone buzz, picking it up he sees a message from Youngjo.

_ Jojo <3: How is it with Geonhak?? _

_ Juju <3: He’s okay, just needed to rant I guess _

_ Jojo <3: Okay, but that’s not what I meant Ju, have you done anything about your feelings yet? _

_ Juju <3: No I haven’t _

_ Jojo <3: Ju you’re going to have to eventually, I know you’re hurting :( _

_ Juju <3: I’ll be okay. He needs someone like me, and I am just glad I can be there for him when he needs it _

_ Jojo <3: That’s not a healthy way of viewing it Ju, just promise me that you will do something about it at some point; whether that be take action or move on. I care about you and I want you to be happy, no matter what that means _

_ Juju <3: Thanks Jo, I will. I love and miss you <3 _

_ Jojo <3: I miss and love you too <3 Now get to sleep, you have practice in the morning ;) _

_ Juju <3: Of course _

Dongju fell asleep late that night with plenty on his mind.

Geonhak woke up the next day in a much better mood than the day before, ready to meet fans at today’s fansign. They had all been looking forward to it for a week: their first proper fansign, not rushed between interviews, or a wave through windows. Dongju is still asleep when Geonhak rises from the bed, he moves carefully so he doesn’t rouse the younger. Geonhak notices how light he feels while he walks, today is going to be a good day, no matter what. Getting ready quickly he goes back to his bed where the youngest is still fast asleep, he plops down and lets Dongju curl up against his legs. He picks the younger’s head up and sets it on his lap, petting Dongju’s hair gently while he sleeps. Shouts come in from outside the door, Keonhee and Seoho fighting over the bathroom, both sound grumpy.

“Mornin’” Geonhak looks down and sees Dongju’s eyes cracked open.

“Hi, you can go back to sleep for a bit if you want, I’ll wake you up,” Geonhak tells him.

“Kay, did you have breakfas’?” Dongju grumbles.

“We can eat together,” the older replies, letting the younger slink back into a slumber. Geonhak watches while his face relaxes back into sleep and brings his hand back up to stroke his hair. He stares intently down at the younger after his breathing pattern settles and Geonhak knows he is definitely out. His eyes map out the younger’s features, the curve of his nose and jaw: he’s beautiful. His heart stutters, the pure beauty of the boy laying on him is undeniable, and the soft, caring heart that goes with it is tenfold. Dongju sure is one of best people he’s ever met, he never even considered the fact that he could fall for the younger, the three year age gap not preferred with Dongju barely being legal. Yet here he sits, Dongju asleep in his lap and his heart quickening at the thought of leaning down and sealing his lips with the youngers in a kiss as soft as him.

Dongju is awoken by his alarm thirty minutes later and Geonhak is still there, holding him and stroking his hair. His lips curl into a smile seeing the soft but carefully guarded look in the older’s eyes, those deep brown pools of emotion that he has fallen in love with. He moves gently and silently, an unspoken exchange between them that neither really understand. The youngest quickly gets ready before they have to go downstairs and get herded into a van to go to the meeting hall where their fansign is. He’s excited, he can tell the other members are too, Hwanwoong looks less sad, Seoho is singing his happy song, Keonhee is dancing to girl group songs and Geonhak- well Geonhak is just sitting and staring at him.

“Got a problem Hakkie?” Dongju finally breaks the sweet silence between them.

“No, just thinking, your face is good for thinking,” Geonhak chuckles.

“Whatever that’s supposed to mean,” Dongju rolls his eyes, “so are you ready?”.

“Yes, I’m excited to meet everyone, hopefully it goes well,” Geonhak lets a little bit of nerves slip through.

“Trust me you won’t say anything dumb and even if you do they might not notice so…” Dongju reasons.

“You’re probably right as always, but I’m good- mostly just excited,” Geonhak says, seeing their manager gesture for them. “Show time Ju”.

The fansign starts off great, they shuffle through people efficiently but with enough time to get a conversation in. Dongju is smiling easily and posing for all sorts of pictures with the gifts he gets, Seoho is happily accepting squirrel plushie after squirrel plushie. Keonhee is dancing for everyone and Hwanwoong is acting sexy. Geonhak is having a wonderful time, he gets more gifts than he expected, more fans than he thought cry upon meeting him. As hard as he tries to keep up and block out this morning, everytime he sees their youngest in his peripheral he can’t help the butterflies migrating from his stomach to every corner of him, making him smile giddily. The fansign continues on going well and everyone is smiling happily until the members watch as someone deliberately skips over Geonhak. They aren’t allowed to acknowledge it, Geonhak least of all, but no one misses the gasp that falls from Dongju’s lips. The girl is unwavering in her smile as she greets Hwanwoong, although Geonhak can see the tenseness in his jaw as he smiles back at her. Dongju is now up and on the move, he squats beside Geonhak and whispers to him, telling him it’s okay. Geonhak ignores it and waves him off. They finish the fansign like that, Geonhak trying his best to ignore the other members but make it look like he isn’t. As soon as they get back to the dressing room everyone starts shouting.

“That little brat! How dare she,” Hwanwoong shouts above everyone else.

“Geonhak it’s okay, I’m going to tear that girl to shreds for doing you dirty like that!” Seoho adds.

“Guys calm down, this stuff happens, I’m fine,” Geonhak states solemnly while removing his makeup and contacts.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Keonhee tries.

“Really, I am,” the only one who doesn’t acknowledge the situation is Dongju, though the older can tell he’s just as upset as the others.

As soon as they arrive back at the dorms, dinner is there and ready for them, their manager having ordered it to be delivered when they arrived. Geonhak eats in relative silence while the other members chat quietly amongst themselves. After he finishes and cleans up, Geonhak heads to his room. He’s held it in for so long, when he hits his bed he lets it all go, crying. He knew he wasn’t good enough. Dongju couldn’t resist following when he saw the older walk off, even as the other’s offered to go. Dongju told them no. As he knocks he hears sobbing coming from inside.

“Go away,” Geonhak practically growls.

“Not a chance, you’re upset and you need someone,” Dongju answers after he slips in the room.

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” Geonhak turns away from him.

“I’ve seen worse Hakkie, now talk to me,” Dongju pushes while sitting down and hauling the older into his arms.

“No, I need to stop letting you in, you’re just like everyone else,” Geonhak is being irrational. He knows but he can’t fall for Dongju, he’ll just get hurt again.

“I’m not going to leave you Hakkie. You don’t have to suffer by yourself anymore, I promise I am here,” Dongju whispers softly in his ear.

“I don’t matter Ju,” Geonhak sobs, turning into the younger’s arms.

“Yes you do sweetie, you matter to plenty of people. Don’t let the actions of some young girl alter your thinking,” Dongju tells him.

“Do I matter to you?” Geonhak asks, shifting up to stare into Dongju’s eyes.

“Of course you do,” Dongju says, honesty and love seeping out with the words, his eyes soft and twinkling.

“Can I kiss you?” Geonhak asks suddenly.

“What?” Dongju is stunned, but before he can even think Geonhak’s lips are on his, a mess of drying tears and sniffling, but those plush lips pushing against his might just be the best feeling. He moves his hands to Geonhak’s hair and pulls the older against him, kissing back with want, the heat in the room increasing as they let their want seep into the searing kiss. It’s not soft and sweet like they had imagined but it’s what they need, desperate for the other to accept them. The kiss slows down into small pecks, still coated in salty tears but smiling and relaxed.

“I’m sorry for ambushing you,” Geonhak giggles just slightly, smiling wide and happy.

“I like you Geonhak, a lot,” Dongju admits.

“Kinda got that, I like you too Ju,” Geonhak shyly whispers.

“I still want to talk about what happened at the fansign but right now I think we are both exhausted and need some rest,” Dongju states with a serious tone.

“Okay yeah, will you stay in here with me though?” the older inquires with a small blush, excited at the development of their feelings.

“Of course baby,” Dongju answers.

The next morning Geonhak is awoken by a soft voice singing quietly into his hair. He snuggles into the warmth wrapped around him and lets the honey voice flow through his ears and soothe him before he fully wakes.

“Mmm, you’re warm,” he tells Dongju groggy sleep voice and all.

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this,” he hears Dongju softly speak.

“You’re just cute, period.” Geonhk replies smoothly.

“Oh wow what a little flirt you are,” Dongju giggles.

“This is just the beginning babe,” Geonhak shoots him a wink and they both laugh giddily.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoyed. Let me know your thoughts if you wanna, and I'm working on some other stuff if you happen to care! Also my twitter is @kebmoontrash if you wanna follow up to you. Have a lovely day buddeeee!! :)))


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